Is that what i really wanted?

i'm confuse wif my feelings...
i dunno wat i really want... i felt da distance between me & him has gone really far... i want to make it betta but i dunno how 2... crying doesnt help & so do bringing up da problem... is he really da one 4 me? do i really love him? did he eva liked me? who is there 2 answer all these questions 4 me? being to honest might not be da right way 2... sumtimes it hurts... & i usually cover da wound & let da pain past itself...

when i m alone, i really thought of a lot of things...
listening 2 da music da use 2 play in my life, my tears rolled down..... but no one has eva really been there 4 me... who i mentioned use 2 share my feelings wif me has all gone.... & i wud not want 2 bother ppl's life... boon pink, alex, chun kee..... they were always been there 4 me when i m sad... but now.......

i jz wish things cud get betta... i tried being da best of all... i've tried... i really did....................... plz find sum1 who really understand me.......... blogging here is jz 2 releasing my stress......... & i hope it really helped....

dear,
things became different.... can't u feel it? i dun wanna lose u & i do hope u cud save tis relationship of us 2gether wif me... i dun wanna be confused wif my feelings but i jz cant help it!! i dun wanna cry but u nvr been there 4 me when i weep... i jz wanna hv a happy life wif u... can't we go thru tis 2gether? i dun wanna let go & i'll nvr gv up.... dear, do u hear me.....???


omg.... i getting crazy... as if i m talking 2 da wall....
wateva............................................................................