confuse.....

Totally confused!!

i have no idea wat i want & i m gonna go crazy sooner or later!!
m i doin da rite decision? will i regret? i jz wonder...

went 2 TARC 2day... 4 its open day..
& guess wat is da 1st course i went 2 ask 4... MEDIA STUDDIES!! lolz..
ppl might think is so NOT me... lolz^^ well... i went 2 survey all da courses dat TARC has... & da only course i m interested is MASS COMUNICATION..

let me tell u guys bout da real me..
i m not those who cud study whole night long or burn da mid nite oil jz 4 exams.. i would prefer enjoying da exam dan gving myself preasure bout it... i love doin practical NOT theory... i enjoy doin projects NOT locking myself up & studying like a NERD... i wish i cud choose a course dat i really interested & enjoy wat i m gonna learn.. i love socialising more dan facing sumthing "DEAD" such as a calculator... lolz.. i like facing ppl, presenting., social... NOT business or marketing! i cant say myself as a out spoken person but i m NOT quiet too!! lolz.. i can b out spoken when i hv da confidence in me... i m NOT shy!! dun think i m k? cz i m really not!! lolz.. now, i dunno wat 2 choose.. media studies or media broadcasting???? which one? or in the end i m gonna apply 4 A LEVELS?? i m so gonna b crazy!!! i cant make up my mind... especially ppl around me askin me wat m i choosing but end up gving me suggestions bout da course i choosed... u all r making me confuse!! & soon i'll b in saint!!! gv me a break!!!! sum1 suggested me 2 take up da course.. TOURISM.. bt i noe myself well.. i cud not b those leaving my home & NOT seeing my love ones... & bout dat course....... STILL CONSIDERING~ oooooooooo* sum1 there 2 help me?? i dunno wat shud i do now... i like jobs dat has sumthing 2 do wif media.. but~ m i really suitable 4 it? i dunno.....
haiz...........................................................................

omg!!! i m really gonna knock myself 2 da wall!!!

b4 i cud finish solving da college prob, i hv 2 really b serious while dealing wif my relationship... m i being sensitive or wat?? i jz feel dat sumthing is wrong & da feeling is so different now... not 2 say is sumthing bad... is jz dat.... its DIFFERENT

haiz... i dunno wat m i posting about... i m jz confuse & i cant seek 4 help.. everything is up 2 me 2 decide.. i nid 2 learn being a independent girl now... i hv 2 earn money 4 my college fees... my pocket money.. everything! my life is own my hand & i feel so preasure.. i jz hope he cud understands me 2~ i m sorry 4 being so unreasonable lately but i m really in a bad mood... i get mad easily & i ruined things up... i noe he won't b reading this now.. but still, i wanna tell my darling.. "I LOVE U!!!"

dear,
i still love u no matter wat... i noe i hv not been a gud gf.. i admit it but i'll try 2 change.. i hv been so preasured lately & i hope u cud really understand.. u might feel i din cared bout u lately but actually, i really do miss u a lot!!!!!!! really a lot!! ur love 2 me might decrease but mine is always increasing.... i noe i m such a idiot now cz i m posting sumthing u'll nvr see... & ppl might think i m a idiot cz i m posting s msg u cant c but nvr told u wat i feel... stupid yea?? lolz.. dats wat u always call me... =) anyway, thx 4 always being there 4 me... love u dear.. muax*

dats all 4 now... love ya! muax <3