i love *him* so much~

these few days....

he has been so busy cz of me... he sent me 2 work & fetched me after work... he was there 4 me when i was unhappy & nvr failed cheering me up =)
he was caring & helped me a lot in EVERYTHING.. dats i *LOVE* him...
he nvr complaint bout our relationship [mayb his heart did... i dunno~ lolz^^] & i learnt 2 b more understanding... i m not da one i use 2 b anymore, i din change myself 4 love but 4 MYSELF!! a person shud change when she understands wat is wrong... i wanna b betta... *SUPPORT* me?

My job nvr gets any betta..

i hate my job & i m happy dat i m leaving after next month!!!
everyday, i dunno wat did i do wrong... [y muz gv me those kind of attitude???]
my supervisor 2day... she served a customer, afraid she will say i din help her... i tried helping~ when da customer left while considering, my supervisor told EVERYONE, "if da customer comes back, i gv 10% & dats under mine.." wat does she mean by dat? she wanna say dat i din help her so i cud not get da comission? who cares!! i noe she doesnt gets comission cz she is a supervisor but wat kind of attitude is dat!!?? she gv me a long face & wat she expect me 2 say??? i jz said, "ok.." who wans dat a bit of money, i dun care!! i nearly cried cz of all these preasure i get while working!! i thought of my darling & i miss him... i went 2 da toilet & i cried... i cant stand it anymore!!!!!! i called him but he jz woke up, i dunno how 2 tell him... but i was so unhappy... i noe he's tired & i dun wanna bother him... so i nvr mention a thing! [shud dat b da reason i called him?] preasured.......i m really cant take it anymore... i really wanna cry it out so dat i cud feel betta... i m tired of it!! =(

when i always feel unhappy, i think of *him*... den i'll tell myself, "its ok... everything will b fine~ my darling is there 4 me..."

thx 4 being there 4 me... if u do love me, i m glad i founded u...
i love u~ *muax*

dats all for now, love u~ muax!

wat will my life be without him?

Felt like i was in heaven~

2day i suppose 2 take da bus 2 work... i was all ready & wanted 2 go down early [dun wanna miss da bus... lolz^^]... suddenly da phone rang, it was my DARLING!! he called 2 ask me if i wud wan him 2 send me 2 work~ well...... of cz i wan!! lolz^^ he was down there waiting 4 me when he reached here [i admit i was kinda slow~ lolz..] he sent me 2 work... oooo* so SwEEt... when i reached & he left, i miss him so much!!! lolz...

den there goes my day of workin.... haiz...
siew leng is off 2day & i m like so alone~ *sobz* [miss her? nah.........] wheneva i feel unhappy wif my job or wat, i jz think of my darling, den everything will b ok again...

around 9 sumthing, i c my darling waiting 2 me outside my shop [he is always early... lolz] i finished my work & he sent me home...
well~ i was kinda tired in da car actually [i noe i was acting strong & didnt wanna admit i m tired...lolz^^] but i still wanna c him driving [dunno why leh...lolz] den i m satisfied~ he sent me back 2 my hse... [oops*!! 4gotten 2 gv him a gd bye kiss! lolz]

b4 i go home, a hug frm him really stays in my mind till now~
he hugged me tightly in his arm & i really did not wanna let go mine 2...
dear, i love u.... u love me 2? [i hope u really do....]

wat my life gonna b without him? i really wonder.....
i wont say i'll b upset till i go crazy [honestly....] but i hate da taste of it being leaving alone... so i kept on askin him 2 dun leave me... m i 2 stupid 4 askin all these nonsence?
reviewing da past i went thru, all my relationships was passing thru all these sweet time 2.... but in d end~ it still did not last, why??? i've been heartbroken so many times, will tis b da last time i m goin 2 b heartbroken? uncountable scars left in my heart cant b rub away 4eva & wat i can do is try 2 hide it... i always asked myself, m i 2 greedy? all i wanted was a simple life... sum1 there 2 care & love me but not 2 cheat on me!!! m i askin 2 much???!! but now i feel i m lucky enuf 2 hv him.... i might not b perfect but i'll still try my best 2 b a gud gf... i'll love him wif all my heart & nvr regret...
pls let b a lasting relationship tis time, i really dun wanna lose him!! i lost 2 many my loved ones b4 last time, da feeling hurts!!! i dun wanna taste it again!! *sobz* i promise i'll do my best.... i m glad he is there 4 me now, i do hope my post in da future wont b mentioning another guys~ haiz........
now, i miss him so much but he is outside wif his fren... i've been trying 2 b understanding, i wonder if i really did... lolz... but i nvr forced myself, mayb loving sum1 will really change me... lolz... how come i nvr been so understanding huh? last time, i wasnt lidat... why huh?? [i dunno either....] but is a gd thing i finally changed, not da inmature lil girl anymore [i noe i dun consider as a mature girl but at least i noe i grown!! lolz^^] phew~ i actually crapped so much???!!! lolz... but i dun think any1 enjoy reading it cz no1 really goes 2 my blog... i dun really blog 4 any1 2 c, i m jz expressing my feelings.. my blog is not fancy or wif pic... jz simple post bout my life... i use 2 write diary but since now i m facing da pc more dan my books, i mights well jz post wateva i feel...lolz...
haiz.............. tired~ but miss him 2... wonder he misses me anot~ lolz^^

enuf 4 2day & HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! *muaxx*

pls remain.... hope no more changes...

if u cant really read wat m i typing... den dun continue reading da post dat i typed using tiny letters... read da larger wan.... [sorry if i been rude...but while typing tis, my mood is not so gud... pls understand me... thz a lot! =) ]

last nite... it was hard 4 me 2 get into sleep... i thought i'll b strong but i m wrong...
everything turned moody, i bcame so down... especially da labtop kept on hving problem.. i was so fed up & went 2 bed..
i lied down on my bed... alone in my room... he called n i pick up da phone... we chatted a while, but not as sweet as we use 2 b... he nid 2 go 4 his so call game [i think] so we put down da phone... after dat, my mind full of memories dat i hv been thru all along... it contains happy & unhappy memories... i thought about my life, i review wat i hv been thru... thought bout tis relationship dat might last 2... i still cant stand it & i was out of control...
i cried... hiding under da blanket, crying without any sound... i miss him, in my heart... i was fear i might lose him.. i dun wan 2!! i dun wanna think bout da past!! i dun wan... i nid a place 2 express my feelings n there is why i m here!! *sobz*
i miss him & i love him wif all my heart...[sorry if i typed any wrong words, u cant c anyway...lolz] i dunno wat 2 say... continue next time... betta day 2day.... da post bout 2day will b much more happier... phew..

phew........ at last i finished!! [dun read if u cant, it might spoil ur eyes, i m jz crappin my feelings out... lolz]
2day is a betta day.... cz my darling came 2 fetch me after work!! he came a bit early n waited 4 me 2 finish work... he sent me home & again... he waited 4 me downstairs...lolz... i quickly took a bath & went down.... [and.... i accidently hit Patchy's head while closing da door!! omg!! i m sorry Patchy... *sobz* i dun mean 2... i still love u, dun blame jie jie k? lolz]
after dat, he went back home & change his pants [i dunno 4 wat!! lolz... he look gd in his actual wan he is wearing... lolz] well... we had dinner & went 4 a walk at da nearby pasar mlm... & suprisingly, we meet sum1 there... after getting down frm da car.... i thought my eyes was blur but i m not!! he is in fornt of me!! [no nid 2 let u guys noe who is dat... i noe, my darling noe... dunno if he noes..lolz] we went 4 a walk... it was a boring walk but still happy cz my darling bside me.. love him! muax*
he sent me home after walking at da pasar mlm... miss da kiss he gave me on da forehead... ooooo.. so *sweet* [stupid me!! lolz] after dat, i went home & here i m, blogging "nonsence"...lolz...

i miss him so much now... dunno y, he kept appearin in my mind!!
dear, do u noe i love u so much?

dats all 4 now... -take care-

i hate work!!

i hate work... workin sux!! every morning i wake up... i really miss school so much!! cz is another suffering day 4 me at MV!!! omg.... i dunno wat 2 say but i jz hate work... da ppl there is jz not my gang... i feel so lonely... i m always scared... fear... i dunno when is da next minute i'll get scolding again.. over there, i muz do sumthing when i m free though there is no customer... i cant really get sum time 2 rest!! even my breaktime, i still hv 2 stay there!! i wanna go out & take a breath aso cannot!!! haiz..... nvm...
i m leaving in da end of february...

whenever i feel lonely, sum1 will come into my mind [bet u all shud noe who izzit...lolz] he's jz like a guardian angle of mine... he appears in my mind wheneva i m unhappy or lonely... i do hope he didnt regret choosing me... cz i noe... i m not gd enuf..*sobz*
da past haunts me always, i wud not wanna think bout it but sumtimes, i cant control myself!! i admit i m scared of losing him & da fact is... he will if he cant stand me 1 day... soon.... really soon... he might get fed up, will he? i dunno.... time will prove everything....
no matter wat, i still love him... *muax*

tired.................haiz.......
take care, bye!

i get 2 hv two days off!!!

so happy cz i finally get 2 rest 4 a while more....
i get 2 days off but i didn't stay at home 2 rest, i went out instead....lolz^^

yesterday, poi chin came 2 my hse in da afternoon... i showed her da pic i took wif my darling & she nearly fainted...lolz
i noe is hard 2 accept wateva i had done... but sorry!! lolz..

around 7pm, my darling came 2 fetch us 2 back 2 poi chin's hse.. after dat he left wif his fren... me & poi chin stayed at home.. v wan 2 go out but cant find any1 2 ask out... around 9.30pm, we found sum1... JASON!! lolz... 3 of us went 2 jln imbi 4 dessert... after dat, we were so boring till we went 2 bkt jalil park... we climb 2 da top n look at da nite view.. after 12, my darling reached home, so i asked him 2 come 2.... after he came, v took a walk... [romantic yea...lolz] he is really a sweet guys... love him... muax~ after a walk, da 4 of us went 4 drink... it started raining at 2.30pm, so..... i hv 2 go back!!! i dun wanna leave my dear.... *sobz* but still, jason sent us home n we slept arond 3 sumthing...

da next day, me & poi chin followed her sis 2 sg wang, i still cant stand it~ i bought 2 BLOUSES!! lolz... after dat, i took LRT 2 sri petaling & there is where my dear come pick me... he sent me back... there was a moment i'll nvr 4get...lolz [dun tell u guys wat izzit~ lolz] anyway, dear.... i love u!!

damm!! get scolding frm my dad... complain tis n dat!!! enuf lar!!! [i gtg b4 i get summore scolding]

take care every1... love u all~ tata =)

omg!!! my life changed so fast??!!!

yesterday was our 1st date....
~we went 4 a movie at MV after i finished work... we watch da movie [Moonlight In Tokyo] a stupid comedy...lolz^^ but i hate da ending!! *sobz* it was so sad... he waited 4 me 2 finish work... so sweet~ lolz^^ muax!! he bought me dinner 2... ooo~ so touching lar... hehehe^^ [pround of it!! hahaha] after da movie, he sent me home... b4 goin back he accompany me 4 a while... how i wish da time cud stop there 4eva... after goin back, i miss him so much!! omg..... how come he keeps on appearin in my mind??!! so fast.... he changed my mind in love...

everything started on da day i broke up...
i was down n sad... i scrolled my msn list but i cud not find a fren i noe 2 chat wif... it has past mid nite n i was unhappy... i dunno y, i cant cry... dat makes me more suffering... i saw *him* & i thought it was jz sum msn fren i dunno... i did not care so much & started chattin wif him bout wat i m unhappy wif... after a while~ he mentioned aubrey!! omg!!! how come he noes aubrey??!! lolz... & i found out he was my tuition mate... omg~ we use 2 go mr eng's, & he quit a while me & aub join in... & i nvr notice he was in my msn list!!! lolz... everything started as a fren... and slowly, feelings started 2 bloom... i was 2 soft hearted... i m always lidat when i m down, especially when sum1 is at my side comforting me!! only he noes how do i feel, i told him wat happened & he gave me a lot of useful advice [izzit cz he's elder dan me? or he is much more mature? lolz]

few more days later....
our relationship kinda turned blur... we dunno wats goin on btween us~ but we still chatted like a pair of couple... but da last time we meet was almost at least half an year ago!! we plan 2 go 4 a date... & suprisingly, it turn out gd... [i think~lolz] i dunno wat is his feelin but 2 me... is ok~ since i miss him so much after leaving....lolz

dats all 4 now... love ya guys!! muax!! [miss him too~ lolz]

Sumone special came into my life~

he was so sweet... da day b4... i was still missing joon yip... & i still weep 4 da past... after he came 2 me n gave me a lot fo advice~ i feel betta...
and dat leads 2 a dear fren...HonG*

he was there when i was down & cheer me up wheneva i felt unhappy...
i appreciate wat he did 2 me... nvr knew he was such a nice guy till now... lolz

i dunno wat 2 say... dats sumthing happening btween us...
[i know u'll b reading tis dear~ lolz]
he was supporting me all da way when i was feelin sad... i may had broke down if he wasnt there 4 me... i jz wanted 2 find a fren... n i choosed him in my list... & fate brought us 2gether now... rite? actually...still in da progress~ lolz.... i still hope things cud go happily...

he's so sweet~ here is a poem frm him 2*me*... hehe^^

Sittin in my bedroom ,
Not knowin wad to do ,
So , I decided to write down all my feelin ,
And make it a poem frm me to u .

Bcoz when im chatin wif u ,
I nvr feel any pain ,
All i hv to do is see ur smilee ,
And den im happy againz .

I don see u every day ,
But tts da way itz gotta be .
Juz knowin u r der ,
Is gud enuff 4 me .

You r always on my mind ,
No matter wad i do ,
Wherever i go ,
Wadeva i see ...
It always leads bac to u .

I hope u hv enjoyed readin ,
Tiz poem i edit 4 u :P
I noe it sounds cheesy ,
I miss u ... haha

[thx a lot~ is so touching... muax~]


dats all 4 now... ciaoz~

hey everyone!!

omg!! it has been a long time i din blog~

i use 2 hv a blog which is http://sweetheart-princess.blogspot.com/
and it has been ages since da last day i blogged there...lolz...

life has past a long time since da last day i blogged... i finally finished SPM!!
i actually finished a month ago & i m back frm da genting trip we planned 4 months ago...lolz... & now, steff is at canada, frens r starting collegde... & bout me, i m workin while waiting 4 my SPM result...

during da time i was not blogging here, i actually broke up 3 times!!
OMG!!dats a lot rite? lolz
da one i was together for 10 months broke up wif me jz few days b4 SPM! cud u blive it???!! well it past... so den come a next one which din last a week & den another coming up again... wow... i sound so like a play girl~ lolx
well.....tis din last either, jz broke up & is only 4 one month!!! i damm hate myself... how cum i cant last a relationship??!! wats da prob?

i now regret 4 wat i had done but things will jz hv 2 happen 4 wat it shud b~ *sobz* sobz* i miss him so much!!!
[well....he won't b reading my blog anyway, rite? so nvm~ hehe^^]

here is da place where i cud express all my feelings!! if not... i'll go crazy!! i broke up wif him n now i m making so much noise!! wat da fxxk!!!!!!!!!! i m damm confuse now! sum1 teach me wat 2 do pls...............haiz~

i love him~ love him wif all my heart but no1 understands...
i choose 2 let go cz
~i wan 2 let him free cz he feels tired being wif me [ i dun like ppl wif me feel suffer]
~i dun wanna argue everyday... & i m da one starting it!!!
~i cant stand seeing sum1 i love unhappy [especially is cz of me!!]
~i dun wanna make sum1 i love's mood bad [cz i call or msg!! cud u blive it?]
~da one i love dun love me!!

why wud i wanna force sum1 who dun love me 2 b wif me? as long he happy... den is ok~ i do hope he is happy rite now....
dear, i do wish u r happy now without me..... *sobz* *sobz* love ya till now.....
suffering lar!! miss sum1 who doesnt love me....

when my i was in a bad mood cz of breaking up, i true fren came into my life n helped me a lot....dats hOnG*!!!
he is a fren of mine which we use 2 go 2 Mr Eng's tuition class... dat day i broke up, i went 2 check on my msn list so dat i cud find sum1 2 express my sad feelings 2... n i found him~ didnt noe it was him till we chatted half way...lolz! he did really gave me a lot of advice... he teached me 2 Love myself b4 loving sum1 elz rite? hehe^^
i thank him a lot!!! thz yea..................lolz
i remember we chatted till 4 am!!!! lolz... dat was long~ i m glad 2 hv a fren like hOnG*! he really did cared 4 me... i dunno how 2 thx tis true fren~ now... nobody noes bout my sad feelings except him.... lol.... he tried cheering me up... it did work a bit [actually, da video was stupid! lolz] i thx u wif u all my heart..... i m betta now~

though i still love him, i hope he cud hv a betta life now...... all da tears n weeping shud b gone by now... wish u all da best...

dats all 4 now... c ya guys soon~ tata